jim larson's thoughts

3:00 A.M.

Why are women so often so oppressed?

I wish I knew.  

An Indian friend of mine, Richard Samuel, and his family run a home for abandoned women in the southern state of Madurai.  "How could someone abandon a woman?" I wondered when he first told me.  In the north of India, widows are flocking to the city of Vrindavan to find refuge.  Of course I've told plenty about what they do to get help in Thailand.

learn to do right!
       Seek justice,
       encourage the oppressed.
       Defend the cause of the fatherless,
       plead the case of the widow.

"Come now, let us reason together,"
       says the LORD.
       "Though your sins are like scarlet,
       they shall be as white as snow;
       though they are red as crimson,
       they shall be like wool.

       Isaiah 1:17-18

Verse 18 is quoted frequently to illustrate God's forgiveness.  I have seldom however seen it connected with verse 17.   Something to think about.  Pleading--begging, fighting for their cause goes hand in hand with being clean in God's eyes.  Guess I'd better sleep on this one.


 

How to know God

All the books ever written on this subject could fill a lot of shelves.  But in fact it's quite simple. 

"He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
       and so all went well.
       Is that not what it means to know me?"
       declares the LORD.

       Jeremiah 22:16

Battle won

Last week Mae agreed to quit bar work and join The Well.  She also brought a 16 year-old friend who had also been working at another location.  The first battle is ours, but the war is far from over.

Even though the final outcome is still not certain, it is nonetheless heartening.  I prayed hard for this one, and I know others did as well.  Indeed it was a team effort, as several volunteers, staff and students were part of helping Mae decide to join.

As we suspected, it turns out that Mae is 13, not 15.  She's just a cute, skinny little kid.  I still shudder to remember some guys at that bar eyeing her.  

It's weird to think that Mae's future may now have completely changed.  We've met other bar girls and street prostitutes who got their start the way Mae was heading.  They come from the countryside to the big city, and dazzled by the pace and the prospect of money, feel on top of the world, oblivious to the risks they're facing.  Mae isn't heading that way anymore, and we can now pray that she won't go back.

She wants to be a doctor.
 

Battling for a child

We've been on outreach a lot these days with visitors.  Sunday night a team from Adventures in Missions met a young teen working at one of the bars.  "Mae" says she is 15, but looks 14.  Short and thin, not over 85 pounds, she is just a child.  A baby.  She said she has completed 8th grade, and has only been working at that bar for a few days.

Mae says her dad, 36, and mom, 40, are at home in the Buriram province, the home of many thousands of bar girls.  They sent her here to work, she says, but they don't know she's working in a bar.  That is possible but not necessarily true.  

Tonight the group went back to see her, and I joined them a while later as they were sitting with her teaching English and doing little puzzles--an activity that only made Mae's youth more incredibly obvious.  I ended up spending a long time essentially begging Mae to quit.  She does happen to be friends with some of our newer teen girls, and stays near The Well.  She was cautious, saying she needs to send money to support her parents.  If that's true, her parents are most likely drinking, drugging, gambling or all 3.  I finally got her to agree to have the team pay her bar fee, take her home, and pick her up in the morning for 9am class at The Well.  I will call Bee, our volunteer teacher tomorrow, and ask her to get Mae's parents' phone number and call them to explain The Well and ask their permission for Mae to join.  I promised Mae that if she quit now, I wouldn't tell them where she had been working.

We've lost battles like this one, and every time it is heartbreaking.  I'm praying hard. 

Remote church planting

I called Jiap, my 16 year-old "little buddy", a few days ago to tell her we had returned from the U.S..  I mentioned her in this post .  Jiap lives in Uthaithani (pronounced "oo-tie-tan-nee"), a province about 3 hours north of Bangkok where we've made a few outreach visits.  The Well sponsors Jiap and her friend Mui in high school.  I call Jiap "my little buddy" not because she resembles Gilligan in any way, but because she's so incredibly cute and I'm so proud that she likes to talk to me.   We talk by phone amost every week, then I ask Judy about 3 or 4 times if we could adopt her. 

Jiap told me that Nin, the girl I wrote about in that same post who was to become a second wife, has been dismissed already and is back with her aunt in Bangkok.  She has no parents.  I asked Jiap to please find a phone number so we can visit her, perhaps invite her to The Well.

I usually ask Jiap about her cousin Nam.  Nam, about 17, got pregnant early last year and dropped out of school.  This morning (Sunday) I got a surprise phone call from Nam. I hadn't spoken with her for probably a year.  She just wanted to say hi, and find out when we were coming to visit Uthaithani again.  She said she was studying high school equivalency, and put me on the phone with her husband (not officially--marriages are seldom legalized among the poor), whom I've never met.  He sounded like a decent guy, and also asked when we would be coming.

The vision of The Well is to start churches across Thailand through former bar girls.  Nam's phone call illustrates the sort of impact we've seen in villages we've been to.  We know we can start a church in that area, and are simply waiting for the people and resources to do it--a vehicle so we can make visits more often, waiting for Gai and Ouey, our students from that village, to grow to a point where they can go back and lead.  They are getting there--Ouey told me last week she would like to attend a YWAM discipleship training school as soon as possible.

Michaela called from Buriram yesterday and reported that things are going very well there with Prang.  More on that in a future post.  I have a good idea Jesus is getting ready to rock that province.

Honorable prostitute

Once in a while we meet someone working the bars that, while I could never actually condone what she does, I have to say deserves honor, even high honor, for her dedication and sacrifice, doing something she hates to do in order to help her children and family.  I met one such woman tonight.

I was out at Nana with short-term volunteers Beka and Nicole.  I had briefly met "Ae" a couple nights ago, and promised to come back later with Judy.  Judy had gone out last night, but we hadn't been able to go together.  I wasn't particularly expecting anything--Ae had been friendly and talkative, said she was 34 with 3 children, and my first guess was that she was a seasoned professional who was more or less fine with her line of work.  

Ae spotted me first, and quickly offered seats for the 3 of us.  We ordered Cokes and a drink for her.  The music at this bar is not too loud, so conversation was not so difficult.  Right away Ae began to tell us, in pretty good English, how she really did not like working at the bar at all. "I send home, sometimes 4 times a month, for my children, and my father and mother who are getting old.  Nothing for me."  

Her husband left her 3 years ago.  She started selling life insurance, but the income was too inconsistent.  Finally Ae started working at night, while still selling insurance during the day.  Now she works at the bar from 5pm to 2am.  Then she goes home and knits scarves which she sells, going to bed around 5am.  She wakes up about noon and goes to work selling insurance--commission only.

Several months ago Ae's dad had major surgery, wiping out the $2500 she had saved, and adding on a $3000 debt.  Plus she says the family house is a shambles and leaks in the rain. 

Of course we don't just believe this stuff offhand--we check it out, but based on what we see so far, it's most likely that Ae is telling the truth.  

I made a tentative appointment for Ae to meet with Judy and I on Sunday.  At this point I don't have an answer for her debt and housing need.  Eventually I'd like for us to have sort of a Habitat for Humanity for bar girls, where teams would go and help families like hers build houses and provide low payment, no-interest loans.  We have other women already at The Well who also have high-interest debt and housing need, so it's hard to know where to start.  If anyone has a contact with Bill Gates or Warren Buffett....

Most importantly, when I explained our purpose, that we are here because of Jesus, and we loved her because God made her beautiful and precious, Ae responded with genuine interest and appreciation.  She seems ready for the Kingdom of God.  She said she has been acquainted for some time with outreach workers from Rahab Ministries , and they have offered assistance as well.  She clearly has leadership qualities, and when I explained our purpose to train leaders that would go back to their villages and stop the flow of girls coming into this industry, Ae was all over it. 

For me, meeting such women is an incredible honor.  i couldn't help thinking that, if indeed her story is true, Ae is one to whom God is saying, "I hear your cry.  I am going to make you my daughter, and you won't have to do this anymore."  May that time be very, very soon.

Don't give up

Yesterday I spoke by phone with "Bo", one of our Thai daughters who has been in a Christian addiction rehab center in Chiang Mai for over a month.  I mentioned her in this post .   To say that Bo has given us headaches over the last couple of years would be putting it mildly--migraines would be more like it.  She came to us over 2 years ago with a history of prostitution, violence and addiction.  Bo has a personality that from the beginning was very charming, but she could also be quite good at lying and covering things up.  You also didn't want to make her angry.  Although in her mid 20's, she could behave like a young teen.  Judy and I would sometimes call her our street kid, our wild child.

With all her acting out, keeping Bo around has been a challenge.  Tougher cases like hers take more time.  You always feel like you're short-changing the "good kids" because of the few bad ones that take so much time.  It's safe to say that in many programs such as ours she would have been gone long ago--she broke rules so many times.  But in spite of it all, we felt that God has had a special call for her, that amidst all her wildness was a heart that wanted to be pure, that longed after something better. She once told me, in tears, that her dream for a long time was to someday have a home for orphans and/or handicapped children.  We knew we could not fix her, but saw our job as keeping her as safe as possible to allow time for God to heal her and make her grow.  

Bo laughed and wept on the phone when she heard my voice.  "I miss you so much, Dad.  I'm doing so well.  I love God sooooo much."  She talked about learning to fast and pray, about leading worship for gatherings at the center--something that our co-worker Khio once reported seeing in a dream.  "I understand you now, Dad," she exclaimed  "All the things that you told me over and over, I really get them now, and I'm talking about them here with others."  Of course I laughed and wept too.  

I'm not going to say that the story is over, that Bo will never relapse again or give us another migraine.  But we haven't chosen to love Bo because she's perfect, but because God made her worth loving.  If Jesus could die for her, certainly we can put up with some headaches.  If God doesn't give up on her, neither will we.

Wedding pics

Here are a few taken by Amy Brown:

Principessa

I suppose cheesy grins are allowed at weddings, especially if you're bride and groom.

Luke was flawless as groomsman/bodyguard, and nobody got hurt.

Back at it

Air travel is a strange and marvelous thing.  A few days ago I was on the quiet, green bike path near my in-laws' house in Illinois.  Last night I was sitting under neon signs talking to bar girls in Bangkok.  Both activities are quite exhiliarating, and it's weird to be able to do both in such as short timespan.  

Last night our outreach team of 4 spent an hour or so with 3 women in front of a massage bar. Massage is everywhere in Bangkok, and the majority of establishments are small storefronts offering legitimate Thai massage.  I've never liked the thought of someone pushing and poking around on me for an hour or two, so have never tried it.  Judy on the other hand loves it and goes as often as she can. 

On the other side of things are huge brothels each the size of a Neiman Marcus, that use the term "massage" as a thinly veiled euphemism.  Some of the small storefronts also offer "extra service", often belied by a stairway leading to private rooms.  The bar we visited last night offers "full service" massage, but tries to pretend there's a legitimate side to it.  It also serves drinks downstairs, and has a comfortable deck in front with round tables.

I talked mostly to Na and Nan, both single moms of about 24.  We've known both for quite a while.  Na is in the small minority of bar girls that actually has a half-decent education--a 2-year degree in marketing.  Nan, in the center of the bell curve, finished 9th grade.  Last night we also met Ned, about 30, for the first time. All are there for the same reason--they see it as their only option to support their families and send their kids to decent schools.  Na had some images and video of her adorable hyperactive 3 year-old daughter on her cell phone, and said she talks to her every day. But being from a distant province, Na won't see her daughter again for 6 months.

It's kind of weird to talk with preciously beautiful creatures such as these and think of the demeaning things they do on a regular basis.  But on the other hand I never find such thoughts to be very persistent, because they clearly don't represent who these women really are.  In fact our challenge is getting them to understand the very point that they are indeed lovable simply because God made them that way, that they do have dignity no matter how much others may try to steal it from them.

I have a good feeling that we may be seeing a lot more of these 3.  We have their phone numbers, and will try to catch them again tonight.  

Write a comment

Name:
Email:
Subject:
Comment: *

Help prevent spam - enter security code above:
 

sallipod
Posts: 18

n
Reply #18 on : Fri January 29, 2010, 01:48:08

---

<a href=http://www.google.com> http://www.google.com </a>

John
Posts: 18

Bangkok Prostition on the Rise
Reply #17 on : Tue January 20, 2009, 20:39:34

---

As a foreign teacher in Thailand I came here to help children to improve their education in a developing nation but of late I have become increasingly concerned at the massive increase in prostitution especially in the tourist areas of Bangkok. It has clearly been here a long time but recently I have been totally stunned to see the massive increase in the number of girls stretching themselves in desperation to get money by any means possible. I have witnessed thousands upon thousands of women in these areas, especially Nana and the Sukhumvit around the Arab quarter, desperate to survive.
Forget the nonsense about stereotypical crack whore - oh no, these are Tesco girls, salon workers, beauticians, florists, fat girls, older women, short women, tattooed girls, ladyboys; every walk of life, desperate for money for a multitude of reasons. But nearly always the same basic reason - desperate for money and usually not themselves but their family. The price that many young girls pay, especially from Isan, is extremely high; attempting to live out the dream of coming to Bangkok to earn money for a desperate family is just all too familiar. The credit crisis really hits home here at the bottom of the pile-so many poor suffer for gross negligence of governments and big business. The human suffering at the other end has to be seen to be believed.
I find it incredible just to see bars filled to overflowing with women of all ages and less farangs than ever, as many tourists have cancelled flights (although the numbers of Arabs and other non-Anglo Saxon groups seems to be stable). Definitely less money from tourism, even if sex-industry based, increases the need for money for others as many poor lose whatever income they had and inflation continues. The money flow slows and causes a knock on effect for so many others. The result is a deep psychological impact on women.
I reject their claims of "oh it's just a job, or just don't think about it too much". Especially in highly conservative Thai society, these girls must suffer greatly. Yes it MUST be shameful to them when others find out, whilst they attempt to keep everything a secret to everyone else. If you push these girls to speak truthfully, then all the emotion comes out -none of them really want to do this work, they just hope they will get enough to overcome whatever problem they have. But the real problem appears for the long term effects especially in standards of their mental health and social status. Once they get used to the cash for “big” money (big by their standards, real cheap by farang standards) they get locked into a cycle.
Now the answer; well there is no quick fix! A police crack down is definitely not the answer and is open to all forms of corruption in any developing nation. No it has to be a combination of cultural change and governmental initiatives. The reality is until the Thai government manages to stabilize its long term political instability, improves rights and standards for low class workers, increases their leadership to look for visionaries not just bureaucrats, and then looks at improved fiscal policies with long term job improvement schemes; the poor, most of all will suffer. Combined with no real welfare system, it’s fairly obvious where especially desperate women will end up. I therefore applaud the actions of outreach workers who at least aim to assist in the interim and I can only wish them the best as my heart is heavy when I see Thailand going backwards in this area and hope the suffering of these women will truly one day be less.

Jeremy
Posts: 18

Project Rescue
Reply #16 on : Mon May 26, 2008, 08:33:14

---

Ever heard of Project Rescue? I just heard about it from a friend who went to college with the founders' daughter. Seems very similar to what servantworks is doing!

http://www.projectrescue.com/frontpage.php

Earn
Posts: 18

the latest postcard
Reply #15 on : Tue April 01, 2008, 13:12:41

---

I'm Thai and support The well a ministry of servant works through my pray, money. I am really appreciated what you are doing for those who have no opportunity in their live and live in the darkness. I am still support your ministries. But one of my concern and it is bothering me a lot is the latest postcard which I just received couple weeks ago. I truely understand what happen in Thailand about women and teenager. Of course they are disrespect to their body, mind, soul and God by exchange it through sex for money. Can you use another word instead of Thailand's sex workers. It's sound harsh and it is hurtful. I understand that you want to wake people up through this postcard but I think there is some way else to do it.
One more thing, in the picture I see young innocent teen. I don't know who they are. They can be one of them who exchange their body with money or may not. But if it is, they already have a poor live and why you make it worse by put their picture openly!! What going to happen when they grow up? We are adult suppose to protect them, aren't we?

Jan
Posts: 18

Concerns
Reply #14 on : Sun March 30, 2008, 13:18:43

---

Hi

My name is Jan. I'd like to thank God and you all( The Well ministry) for a wonderful work for Thai woman and children who are from dysfunctional families. I've been supporting The Well for the past 2 years, and also had a chance to visit The Well in Bangkok twice.

However, I have a concern. I have received 2 postcards of the Well Ministry. I came to my mails couple weeks ago. The first time I saw the card, I did not feel anything much. But the second time I received the same post card, there is the thought that came to my mind. I saw the picture of a mother with her two beautiful daughters. They are beautiful children. Then I read the card...Thailand sex workers! I know the intention of this postcard is good. However, I think the language is too strong. Although, it is the truth for most cases. I am concerned about these children in the picture. Unfortunately, the children have to suffer from parents' poor choices and decisions. They've already been damaged and wounded. We should try to protect them. I don't think the language is appropriate, especially when there is a picture of children on it. If they can read and understand English, I can't imagine how much damage it can do to them emotinally and psychologically.

Blessings,
Jan

alan
Posts: 18

God of this city...
Reply #13 on : Wed March 12, 2008, 11:32:09

---

hey buddy,
have you heard the new song, "God of this city"?

see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d61LamkXfwk&feature=related

for u-tube version of tomlin singing it...the band Bluetree from Ireland was actually in Pattaya not too long ago, and they somehow were invited to perform in a brothel...while they were doing a 2 hr. worship set, they said God gave them this song. it is POWERful!

miss ya dude,
alan

edwin
Posts: 18

awsome comiing
Reply #12 on : Tue March 04, 2008, 20:26:18

---

im with ya Jessica!
i really wanna be involved! i hate being lazy!!!

jessica
Posts: 18

hopefully coming
Reply #11 on : Tue March 04, 2008, 00:46:56

---

My name is Jessica Wood my sister and I are in contact with servantworks about coming to bangkok this summer. Thanks for all your hard work and the genuine way you approach people... I lay awake at night thinking about this stuff....i really think God wakes me up so I will pay attention to his prompting for me to do something or say something for those trapped in the sex trade...i want to help and not just so that I can sleep easy..but because there is no other option..and becuase i deeply loves Christ and believe he sets people free....anyways just wanted to show encouragement and introduce myself

Edwin
Posts: 18

Re: jim larson's thoughts
Reply #10 on : Sun January 13, 2008, 13:54:02

---

for "Win"

you are more than right..... those that follow Christ's really lay themselves low for other people... that is LOVE!

*hugs*

win
Posts: 18

=
Reply #9 on : Tue January 01, 2008, 03:40:30

---

i'm da random...n i'm a thai gurl,,n i saw ur friends or sumone who knows u post bout wt u did in thailand..it's gd mannn...


i donno wt to say bt i never heard bout whites do stuff for helping ppl who isn't white b4


most of them jt drop sum shit here destroy enviorment...


anyway keep it