leaving a piece of my heart
Yesterday, I could feel myself wanting to pull back a bit from Prang's family. I felt like I needed to keep my distance since I'm leaving in under 6 weeks now. Frustrated, I called Jim and told him how I was feeling. "Don't let yourself do it," he encouraged me. "It's going to break your heart to leave these people, but don't be afraid of the heartache."
I journaled for awhile after talking with him. I felt confused, even angry with God for calling me to come here. Not only have I felt the burden of missing my family back home, but now I'm beginning to feel the burden of having to say goodbye to my family here. Why did God call me here for such a short season like this? Getting engaged this year didn't catch me or Nick or Jim or Prang off-guard: we all knew my time in Thailand was somewhat short. But I also knew I would not be a good steward of my time if I chose to spend this year in America. God's call to come to Thailand, even for a year, was very strong on my heart.
Jim told me that it was natural and good to leave a part of my heart here. So I decided that with my 6 weeks left, I'm not just going to leave a piece of my heart here, but I'm going to throw it - throw it into these people and their lives. Trusting that just as God called me to say goodbye to my family in America in accordance with His good plan, He will call me to say goodbye to my family in Buriram in accordance with this same good plan. It's a bit scary. I know my heart will break when I go home, just as it broke when I came here. But our God is good, we have nohing to fear :)
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Reply #1 on : Thu June 05, 2008, 15:23:01
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Reply #2 on : Sun June 08, 2008, 15:26:02