When Mom is a pimp

The last few weeks have had some pretty rough spots, so much that I thought about writing a follow-up to "Better than the NBA" to point out that this work has losing streaks too, which can be less than fun.  A couple of women that Judy and I have invested a lot in went through some serious struggles, to the point that we feared losing both.

One, that I'll call "Jen", went to be with her mom.  Her middle-aged mom quit her security guard job because she wasn't getting along with another employee, and decided she didn't need to work any more.  She never asked Jen for money, but complained and manipulated her daughter, who has kids of her own to take care of, to support her mother.

We've known the history of this manipulation, and feared the worst, and sadly enough, our fears came true.  We were able to convince Jen to come back to The Well, but not before she sold herself for 2500 baht (about $75) to an old man referred to her by her mother. She confessed to me, in bitter tears, the day after she returned.

Her mom continues to pressure her, wanting Jen to move home permanently so her mom can take care of the kids while Jen works.  There are only two possible ways Jen could make enough income--prostitution and drug dealing.  A few years ago her mom tried to sell Jen to Malaysia for 7,000 baht, but Jen got scared and ran away.

Obviously the process of breaking unhealthy bonds with an abusive parent is tough.  We're in process now of helping Jen to acknowledge that it was her mother who was at fault for manipulating and pimping her daughter, not Jen for being unfaithful and unsupportive to her mom.  The scarey thing is that if Jen doesn't make the break, it's not unthinkable that her own daughter could be next in a few years.

Thankfully she's getting it.  She told me today she's been giving a lot of thought to what I told her, that I would sell everything I had and starve to death before I would allow my daughter--or any other woman for that matter--to sell herself for my benefit.  So sad that she's just now figuring that out. 

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Audrey Tucker
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Reply #5 on : Sun July 08, 2007, 10:11:10
This account is so true. My mother and sister both prostituted me without any shame. I hate their actions. I seek to break unhealthy ties. This is a lifelong battle.
Bill Graver
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Reply #4 on : Fri June 08, 2007, 20:34:31
Yeah, the families are a mess. Quite frankly, I think it's the men who are responsible for most of the problems (although as Jim's post points out, abuse can come from anywhere).

I just feel so bad for the kids and am continually praying that Jesus will get into these families. He's the only hope for any of us.

The way I see it (and I'm stealing this from Gregory Boyd), God's kingdom is the mustard seed. It starts out small -- with one person or in one family -- and slowly grows until it takes over the world. That's the hope for Thailand. It starts with a small group, like the girls who are leaving The Well and taking Jesus back to their families and villages.

These girls are all facing much hardship, though, so we all need to commit ourselves to praying for them.

Please also continually pray for Jim & Judy and the Well staff. They are pouring themselves out for these girls and it's got to be hard to deal with things like this constantly.
Rindy
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Reply #3 on : Fri June 08, 2007, 19:52:24
I cannot imagine trying to break the cycle there. I know how difficult it is to heal and change what has always been in any type of abuse here. The added cultural factors where this is widespread has got to be seem impossible for so many of these girls/women. In my prayers...
Bill Graver
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I'm glad she at least came back
Reply #2 on : Sat June 02, 2007, 17:14:53
I'm sorry to hear about 'Jen' but I'm glad she at least came back. I've been praying for her and the other girl who's been having a bad time.

After having seen the brokenness in these families firsthand, even though it was only for a week, I'm convinced that the only hope for Thailand (and all these precious girls) is for Jesus to get into those villages and families in the North. Only He can redeem individuals; only He can heal the brokenness in the families; only He can give those awesome kids hope for the future.

By the time girls get to The Well, most of them have been through hell and it takes years, and a lot of tears and prayer, for them to heal.

Please make a commitment to pray that God would get into these villages and families and reach the next generation before they, too, end up on the streets of Bangkok.
Roy Bessell
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Re: When Mom is a pimp
Reply #1 on : Sat June 02, 2007, 14:50:46
Thanks for sharing again. I'm sure you are often too busy to write. It's good to know you're still serving. I'm still praying for you all.

Roy