Why, Men?
Sometimes people ask me how I deal with seeing men taking advantage of women so much.  To be honest, violence has crossed my mind.  It certainly has today.

It's been a few weeks since Noi, our 13 year-old foster daughter, ran away and came back.  She's been doing ok since, and growing on us. More and more she appears to be a sweet-hearted kid who just got off to the wrong start.  

Noi spent last night at The Well, and was still asleep at 9am.  Judy woke her up.  She didn't give an excuse.  She came down for class at 10:30.  At 11:15 we had a break so I took her aside.

When confronting someone, I always start with the positive.  "Noi, I love you very much."

"I love you too, Dad."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

She sat staring down at her hands resting on the table.  I told her she looked stressed.

It took her a while to get to it.  I didn't force anything.  It wasn't like she was in big trouble.

Finally she asked a shocking question, "Has anyone at The Well ever been . . ." and the next Thai word I didn't understand until she explained it.  I won't translate it here.  

Over last holiday weekend she had gone to a girlfriend's village.  It turned out that another long-time male friend of hers was also in the vicinity.  She said she trusted him as a friend, so went to visit him and his girlfriend Sunday night.  

He and some friends grabbed her, bound and gagged her in a room.  Then one at a time, each had his way.  There were 5 or 6.  She doesn't want to remember.  She's a baby, for goodness sake.  A precious, adorable child.  She even has round cheeks and dimpled knuckles.

"Some were nice and used a condom."

Judy and Miaw took Noi to see a doctor today.  Unfortunately it's been 4 days, too late for forensic evidence.  Lord protect her from any disease.  We'll be working closely with her and looking for extra outside help for her healing, including watching for signs of post traumatic stress disorder.  Of course we'd appreciate your prayer as well.

I can't help but think of Jesus' warning: "Better to wear a millstone necklace and take a swim in the deep blue sea than give even one of these dear little ones a hard time!" (Luke 17:1, The Message).  I'm looking for some millstones right about now.

But mostly I'm wondering how so many men can be so mean.  

My mission in coming here was to be one man that does the opposite, that instead of taking advantage of poor, helpless women and girls, does everything in his power to honor, protect and bless them.  Part of that means changing the hearts of men, and the best way I know to do that is to bring men to know Jesus.  

Men, please help.  There are many ways--reach out to other men, for instance, and lead them to Jesus and teach them humility and service for "widows and orphans".  We certainly need that here, but of course by no means here alone.  Spend time with teen boys and teach them God's view of women.  Maybe go with a friend to the parking lot of an adult bookstore or strip club, and strike up a conversation with a customer.  If you know where street prostitutes hang out in your area, take your wife and go talk to one, instead of just driving by and complaining about the police.  You probably already know at least one struggling single mom--go offer to paint her apartment or take her kids to the zoo.  

If someone out there would like to offer funds to put Noi into a decent Christian school, and pay for room and board in a safe environment, that would be wonderful.  I don't know how much, maybe $1000 for a year.  Or if you'd be interested in helping in our vision to help many more girls through starting schools and other prevention programs, that would be awesome.  I'm not trying to turn this into a fundraising gimmick--just obviously feeling the urgency all over again.  Please email me if you're interested, or hey, go ahead and donate online if you like. 

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Nicole Braddock Bromley
Posts: 3
Comment
enough is enough
Reply #3 on : Fri April 20, 2007, 20:45:57
I received a link to your blog today from a student I met while speaking about sexual abuse to a college in the US. My heart goes out to all of you who have been affected by this horrible situation, but especially young Noi. I am praying for her heart and mind tonight and for her healing.

Thank you for all the work you are doing in Thailand. I hope to join in your efforts one day.

Nicole
www.OneVOICEenterprises.com
Matt Hook
Posts: 3
Comment
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
Reply #2 on : Fri April 20, 2007, 09:54:05
Jim,
Enough is enough - the time is now. I weep when I read this and also have a new urgency.
Matt
Bill Graver
Posts: 3
Comment
ugh!
Reply #1 on : Thu April 19, 2007, 14:57:06
Sometimes I'm ashamed for being a man. This is one of them.

If it wasn't for the Holy Spirit dwelling in believers, any of us could end up doing something heinous like this.

Jim, my men's group at church will be praying for Noi.

Bill